Article Read. You Can Find All Kind of Articles

Search

• Auto and Trucks
• Education
• Family
• Food and Drink
• Gadgets and Gizmos
• Health
• Hobbies
• Home Improvement
• Kids and Teens
• Legal Matters
• Parenting
• Pets and Animals
• Recreation and Sports
• Site Promotion
• Travel and Leisure
• Web Development
• Women
• Writing

 by: Sharon Jacobsen

Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how right they were. Women just love to rabbit! Whether you calling it chatting, nattering, gassing or just plain talking, were way ahead of the opposition in the vocal stakes. Not that Im saying its a reason for our men to dump us, as suggested by Chas and Dave, but Ive no doubt there are times when they wish wed put a sock in it.

More often than not, talking to another woman is far less work than trying to get a decent conversation going with a bloke. How many times havent you tried initiating conversation by mentioning something youre sure hed find agreeable only to receive the standard "mmmm" reply. If you know he loves BMWs and theres a fine example of one parked along the road, try saying "thats a nice car, isnt it?" and see what happens. Yepp, the standard reply. If you really want to get him talking, try "I cant see what anybody sees in those cars" and before you know it, hell be chatting on about how reliable the engine of a BMW is (assuming it is, of course), how comfortable the interior is, not to mention how well planned the layout is and the luggage rooms just awesome! And did you know it can do 0-60 at the speed of a fart? The point is, men need to be dragged into action through a good disagreement. Small talk, just for the sake of it, isnt their forte.

Its hardly surprising, given our differences, that men become frustrated at their women who constantly want to talk about things that offer no argument. They dont see the point in discussing the scent of the roses unless you happen to think it smells like sherbet whilst he thinks it smells of honey! And if youve already decided to get a Greyhound, why continue to talk about them? The subject would really only merit further discussion if youve started doubting the decision but to him, simply reiterating that Greyhounds make wonderful pets is hardly worthy of word expenditure.

Women, on the other hand, are happy to spend hours discussing various aspects of life, be it which washing powder does the job best (although I have to admit that this particular subject has a short life around here) to whether or not theres life in outer space. Well analyse our lives from every perceivable angle and serve our emotions on a plate to be shared and devoured. When we talk about sex its because were either experiencing difficulties in that department or finally achieved multiple orgasm. The fact that the bloke standing next to the BMW (the one you earlier admired with your partner) has a huge lunch box isnt THAT important to us. Sure, well joke about it but where men stop at "Id give her one", women will discuss why theyd give him one.

How often have you known your partner (or father or brother) to pick up the phone for no other reason than because they fancy a chat? They may well have done during your courting days but do they ever call their male friends just to have a natter? I doubt it. Women, on the other hand, can spend hours on the phone to the same girlfriend, talking about anything and everything, going into minute detail about every event thats happened since last time they spoke and still finding it all just as interesting as they wouldve had it been the very first conversation theyd ever had. When witnessing this behaviour, men simply shake their heads and wonder how the heck we can find so much to talk about to somebody we visited with for three hours just last week. To a man, the telephone is either a means of making contact when something needs to be said or done or, for some, a means of getting a quick thrill through dialling premium rate numbers. It certainly isnt a tool designed for nurturing friendships.

Im not saying that men will never talk; of course they talk. Men are great at discussing business deals and are generally happier speaking publicly than women are but they need a definite goal to make talking worthwhile. To them, when talking about next doors new car, the technical specs are what interest them, whereas wed probably wonder about its cost and how on earth they managed to afford it! Gossipy, yes, but that also comes naturally to women.

Evidently, our propensity for gossip stems from way back when we lived in caves. The men went out to hunt leaving the women to look after the cave and offspring. For those women, it was important to know what was going on around them in order to keep their own home and family safe, something which eventually evolved into gossip once we mastered the art of meaningful speech. Knowing that Missus Chucklebum could be likely to steal your food supplies or that old man Poop-pants had been known to rape women while their men were away were important things to know. Gossip was what moved this information quickly through the villages, rather like the jungle drum. Unfortunately, gossip often changes facts so poor old Annie Spottyface was seduced by Tommy Littleballs could easily turn into something that makes Annie sound as if shes slept with half the village. Men, as much as they deny it, also gossip. They dont see it as such because their gossip takes on a different stance. Knowing that Dave has put a new turbo in his motor or that Bobs been promoted is just as much gossip as anything we women talk about. Men gossip because, going back to the days of old again, they needed to know which tribes or villages were strong and with which weapons they were likely to fight with. That sort of thing translates in our modern society to whos got the most money (money = power) and what theyve earned it by doing. Facts were, and still are, important to them from a strategic point of view. My partner would call it "intelligence gathering" but no matter what impressive name you put to it and how pretty the packaging is, its still gossip, plain and simple. They just dont do it quite as much as us ladies.

Conversations a bonding agent between women, something that men dont need. They bond through activities; either doing them or discussing them. If theyre not out on some muddy field kicking a ball around then itll be "Did you see Beckhams penalty last night?". Oh, and "look at the knockers on that" will sometimes come into play because sex is an activity just as much as football, biking, fixing cars, fishing or downing pints.

Most of us have heard that women use about three times as many words a day than men but even so, mixed gender company, men are likely to dominate the conversation. Why? Because they need to exert their power and strength, of course. That isnt to say there arent women who wouldnt dream of allowing a man to dominate in this way and there are also men who wouldnt dream of trying but in general, men like to have their voices heard. Im afraid we girls have to take some of the blame for that, too, because of our tendency to tack a question on the end of a statement. Saying "that was a lovely meal, wasnt it?" allows others to jump straight in and, in the case of a man, answering the question then allows him to go on to change the subject in order to satisfy his need to dominate the conversation. Believe me, the only way we can control a conversation is to stop leaving open-ends, because while we might see them as showing a concern for the opinions of others, men will see them as weak statements from a woman who doesnt know her own mind.

Another way in which the sexes differ can be clearly seen when a woman wants to discuss something thats bothering her. Id be reasonably well off now if Id been given a pound for every time I heard a woman complain "he always has to be so argumentative". He isnt doing it to hurt, though; its just his nature. Discussions good, small talks a waste of time. We just have to accept that theyre not women (and I can assure you there are times when Im glad my partner isnt) and let them do what comes naturally. That, incidently, also includes offering advice. Again, for him, if the conversations to achieve anything, a solutions needed. You might not want advice but hes gonna give it, regardless. One friend complained that her husband wouldnt listen to her problems because she never took his advice anyway and if she isnt going to listen to him, why should he bother to listen to her? I can see that a man could get frustrated by women who "dont listen" but when we desperately want to share our feelings with somebody else without being "told what to do", thats when we really need our women friends.

For life to continue, women need men, but when it comes to talking, women need women. Its good to be understood.

About The Author

Sharon Jacobsen is founder/administrator of FriendsYourWay.co.uk (www.friendsyourway.co.uk), a web service designed to help women meet other women for platonic friendships in their local area of the UK. Having grown up in East London, Sharon moved to Norway at the age of 19, where she remained until 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and two of her three children. Contact Sharon on: s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk