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Why Women Are Directionally Dyslexic
Category |
: Family |
Times Read |
: 73 |
Date |
: 31 January 2008 14:59 |
Ive known a couple of women who arent and Ive heard of acouple of men who are. But mainly, directions exchanged between the sexes are exercises in futility.When Mrs. Stupidman gives me directions I need a big pieceof paper. Her directions are based on rights, lefts andlandmarks. Go past the Wal-Mart, turn left at the big sign,look for the house with the puce shutters (Whats puce?),then go two houses further on the opposite side."Whats the address?" "I dont know, but you cant miss it." "From what direction did you assume I was coming when you began the instructions?" "Huh?""The Wal-Mart is on the corner of an intersection. ShouldI go north, south, east or west from the Wal-Mart?" "Huh?""Should I head towards Kansas, Arkansas, Texas or California?" (We live in Oklahoma.) "Oh, Arkansas."I realize I dont pay attention to landmarks. I dont noticethe new stores, the pretty signs, the big tree. Im limitedto primary colors and even with that I have troubledistinguishing blues from greens.When I was younger I tried to accommodate women by giving landmark directions but I was a failure.One time my sister wanted directions to a new shopping center.I told her to go past three red lights before making a rightturn. She got lost and blamed me. Turned out I should havesaid traffic light instead of red light.Mrs. Stupidman and I used to have a lot of conflict overdirections. She thought my smug expressions and tone werecondescending (not me).But then one day I picked up a book entitled "Sex On TheBrain". Unfortunately, the title was deceiving and it wasreally about clinical studies that attempted to explain differences for how women and men process information. ButI read it anyway.One particular study had to do with rats. All of the ratswere put in a maze that had white wall panels with food placed at the maze exit. The exit path had colored panels,serving as landmarks, to mark the correct turns. After alittle practice the rats found the food. The path waschanged repeatedly but as long as colored panels were usedall the rats found the food. Then, white panels were substituted for the colored panels. The males still foundthe food but the females were hopelessly lost.They cut up all the rat brains (sorry) and found one section of the male brain that was lumpier (some of thesescientific terms are just unavoidable) than the femalebrain. The researchers postulated that the lumpiness wasthe result of the need to develop advanced locator abilitiesso the male rats could find their way back to previouslydiscovered food sources while the female cared for the little ratlings.Then, they cut up human brains (Im sure they were alreadydead) and found the same differences.So, there you have it. I am much more accepting now that Iknow that women are directionally dyslexic. On the otherhand, men might be mutants.You can sign up for Stupidmans Occasional Newsletter atwww.stupidmanok.com/or.html About the Author What kind of bio can I have using a secret identity?
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