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 by: Ed Williams

Folks, this weeks column is the beginning of a pilgrimage for me...

I mean it, this weeks column is the beginning of a truly personal pilgrimage for me, one of truly deep meaning, one of truly great emotion, and Im not going to rest until I truly achieve what Im about to lay out for yall in the next few paragraphs.

Is that not a truly inspiring beginning for a column? Why, truly it is (okay, Ill stop). And, with that, lets get right down to the nitty gritty. Those of you out there who read my stuff know that I love food. Im a big eater, and I make no bones about it. I dont wanna end up being one of those people that croaks one day and no one understands why. In my case, everyone will understand, and thats a good thing. Theyll know that it was due to my eating tons of Atomic Fireballs, Nu-Way hot dogs, Breyers butter pecan ice cream, Baby Ruths, Sweet Tarts, and other truly great stuff.

Contrast that with a forty-five year old jogger who eats cauliflower and carrots every day, and suddenly collapses while sitting at his desk one morning. Gone, a healthy dead person cut down in the prime of his life. No one understands situations like that, people cant deal with it, so theyll talk about it forever. Its sad, because no one can understand being both healthy and dead. At least everyone will be at peace when I go shake hands with the Grim Reaper.

With all that having been said, Ive discovered a new food that I know Im going to love. Something that Ill have to make a special trip to go eat one day. And that something is located at a restaurant in Atlanta called Mulligans, and the food item in question is called a hamdog. And if yall are wondering what a hamdog is:

Its a hot dog wrapped with a deep fried beef patty, then covered over with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie bun. Thats not all, either, its then topped with a fried egg and served with a couple of big handfuls of fries.

Doesnt it sound great? A true culinary masterpiece, and, whats more, it has all the major food groups in it. You get your poultry from the fried egg, your beef from the pattie, you get whatever the devil is in the hot dog, you get some essential grains from the hoagie roll, and some very much needed potato vitamins from the freedom fries. A nutritional bonanza if there ever was. Man, Im salivating just thinking about one, and Ive got to have it. And, believe it or not, yall can help me attain my goal of quaffing down a hamdog, and heres how:

Someone out there whos reading this has got to have some kind of contact with Chandler Goff, the owner of Mulligans. If one of yall does, would you please let him know that Im a big fan, and Im very willing to make a deal with him regarding his hamdog? If hell just invite me up and slip me one, a freebie, then tell him that Ill devote an entire column to doing a review of it. And not only will I review it for him, Ill make it sound like the Elvis of foods, because Im already quite sure that Ill love a hamdog. I just need a good excuse to fight the traffic in order to go up to Atlanta to get one. So, if I can say that Im going up there because the hamdog is going to be free and Im supposed to do a future column about it, then the coast will be clear. The tripll be blessed, and Ill be on my way to Atlanta with a smile on my face. Life will have true meaning.

Loyal readers, do your duty. Find Chandler Goff for me. Lay a big line of crap on him about how bad I want one of those hamdogs. If one of yall can pull it off, I swear that Ill go up there, eat one, and then write a column about it to let yall know how it was. And what happens if yall dont find him for me? Well, if thats how this works out, then Im going to do a future column about why Tiny Tim was a musical genius. I swear it on my BTO CDs. The choice, as they say, is yalls....

About The Author

Eds latest book, Rough As A Cob, can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. Hes also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.