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 by: Kristin Johnson

You know the scenario. Youre sitting at the family Christmas gathering and your ten-year-old opens one of Aunt Marthas itchy homemade sweaters. Or Uncle Bobby, whos been swearing to lose twenty pounds for years, opens an exercise cycle. Of course, if Uncle Bobby follows the politeness rule, hell say, "Thank you, its just what I wanted." (Then hell conveniently "forget" about it in the basement or storage closet.) your ten-year-old may not be as skilled at pretending as Uncle Bobby, but kids know enough to know that any answer other than "Thank you, Aunt Martha, I love it" will raise the roof.

Theres nothing wrong with pretending you like a gift that someone has consciously bought because they think it suits you, youll like it, or it will be good for you. The saying "Its the thought that counts" is a truism. Unless you habitually dont put much thought into your gifts. Have you stopped to look at other peoples faces when they open your gifts?

The excuse "Im too busy" only goes so far, and your children know it. If you can take time out of your week to exercise (or not, in Uncle Bobbys case, and who knows, Uncle Bobby might have a physical reason for not losing those twenty pounds), rent a video, go jogging, go to the movies, you can put some thought into the gifts beyond recycling last years "I love it" items or heading to the mall.

Its important to let kids know that regardless of the gift, sometimes politeness above and beyond the call of duty is required. However, you personally can create more honesty from your kids and with your kids when it comes to gifts.

Remember when your ten-year-old made you a clay ashtray? You dont smoke, but you cherish that homemade gift. Or how about when your parents hung your macaroni ornaments on the tree and your pictures of Santa on the fireplace? You genuinely said "I love it" and meant it. Your children could tell. Your parents were sincere with you.

You are what you give, how you give it, and how you receive gifts. Its easy to moan that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost for our children. Its harder to turn away from the traditional gift-giving grudge.

Some tips:

• Start making homemade gifts of your own. Gifts of food, especially Christmas cookies, are always in season, and people genuinely love cookies.

• Start a Christmas cookie party or recipe swap with your family and friends. Get everyone involved. (Be sure to make some healthy alternatives for Uncle Bobby.)

• Make a donation in someones name, say to a breast cancer organization, a hospital, a homeless shelter, a nursing home.

• Be honest about what you can spend. Be creative. Perhaps if you cant buy everyone a nice gift, you can take friends out for a pre-Christmas dinner instead of everyone frantically buying gifts.

• How many times have you said, "Oh, I dont want anything, Ill love whatever you give me?" Kids are great at making requests. Take a lesson from them. Its dishonest to expect others to read your mind and then be disappointed about the gifts you receive.

• Encourage others to be honest about what they want. Even if you cant afford it you can ask for some wish list items, or say that you make most of your Christmas presents.

• Always let your children know you love them regardless of any gifts that are exchanged.

Above all, remember that the first gift of Christmas is love, and thats something no one can fake.

Copyright (c) 2004 Kristin Johnson.

Permission is granted to reprint the following article on your web site or ezine, or print magazine/newsletter as long as no changes are made and the byline, copyright information, and the resource box is included.

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A copy of the ezine magazine and/or URL of the web site where it is published will be greatly appreciated. If published on a web site, there must be a link back to http://www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com.

About The Author

Kristin Johnson is the co-author of Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts, available from Tyr Publishing. Makes a perfect Christmas gift, and the most perfect christmas gifts of all--cookies! Christmas Cookies Are for Giving (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9) is hardcover, 208 pages, and features full-color photography of each recipe. A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or you can e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book.