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 by: T. O Donnell

1. Tattoos.

Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors, mafiosi and punk rockers. About ten years ago, they became fashionable. The lower-middle classes started taking them up. Unfortunately, unlike last years shoes, tattoos cant be taken to the thrift shop and disposed of.

To a certain class of person, tattoos are cool. To another, they are a graffito on the temple of the soul. They mark a woman definitively as lower class, alienated, depressed, and a bit daft. Theyre also a handy way to identify one absolutely to the authorities. Which shows how stupid some crooks are.

The same goes for piercings. My family are farmers. I associate nose rings with bulls, and piercings with cattle tags. They are a haven of dirt, infection, and their openings look unsightly.

With tattoos and piercings, before youve opened your mouth, youve already typed yourself to people you meet.

2. Highlights and streaks.

Are you blonde, or brunette? Make up your mind! These might have been novel ten years ago. Now they just look common. Not all gentlemen prefer blondes. A healthy head of untinted brunette or raven dark hair is a pleasant novelty these days.

It is true that blondes have more fun. I used to be one! Most people on the planet are dark. A non-blonde with blonde hair looks interesting.

Now this fashion is done to death, however. If theyre doing it in Romford, its buried!

3. Big hoop earrings.

Unmistakably part of the wardrobe of the gypsy. Which is fine if you are one. Strangely popular. Perhaps theyre to make the wearers head look smaller. Add them to the features above, and an unattractive type emerges.

4. Binge drinking.

Binge drinking, squawking and falling over in the street is hilarious if you are the one doing it. If you are the spectator, its less so.

5. Visible G-string.

This is erotic, no doubt about it. Unless you havent the figure to pull it off. Likely to provoke a reaction of Mother of G*d! when adorning the pasty, blemished buttocks of the full-figured young lady. Bad diet, no exercise, five-pints-a-night, then peek-a-boo!. Agggh!

I used to wonder why so many saucily-dressed young ladies walked the streets hatchet-faced. Now I now. Half are trying to ward off unwanted vulgar advances from men, the other half are annoyed theyre not getting any!

Theres nothing sexy about contrived, blatant eroticism. Whats erotic is what seems to be an accident. A glimpse of stocking is something quite shocking etc.

Likely to irritate female co-workers also. Assuming your company allows such clothing. It doesnt? I wonder why?

6. Swearing.

Your gentleman friends might find this amusing, to your face. What they think in private is another matter. Habitual swearing is another sign of a depressed, angry person. Its unattractive. The more you do it, the more it corrodes your subconscious.

7. Breast Augmentation.

Also known as a boob job. These look fine, from a distance. Compared to a natural pair, they look odd. They are to

real breasts what a transvestite is to a red hot mama; no competition. Up close, theyre just not as good as the real

thing. A perfectly functional piece of equipment has been turned into a cartoon joke, with possible long-term medical

consequences.

Some men like small breasts. Beauty is a matter of proportion. Some women are neurotic about their appearance;

nothing will please them.

A good example is ...

8. Disappearing Eyebrows.

They get plucked away to nothingness, then get drawn or tattooed back in. And this is better? One can end up looking

freakish, even clown-like. Loss of hair suggests illness. Plucking out ones hair is often a sign of mental illness.

Girls, desist! Dont try to gild the lily!

IMPORTANT NOTE: There are people wholl encourage you in the above. Theyll say you look lovely. Misery loves

company, and some people delight in the fall of others.

Be your own woman. Stand back from yourself, your life and your surroundings, and decide your own destiny.

About The Author

T. O Donnell (http://www.tigertom.com) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories, available at http://www.ttconservatories.co.uk. T. O Donnell freeware may be downloaded at http://www.ttfreeware.co.uk.

content@tigertom.com