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Getting the Guy You Want: Self-Esteem Trumps Pretty
 Category |
: Women |
 Times Read |
: 55 |
 Date |
: 16 March 2008 07:00 |
by: Terry Hernon MacDonald
Part of the reason we have difficulty attracting men who make us happy is because we believe that such men dont really exist. We believe that to attract a man we have to be the prettiest girl in the room, have the biggest breasts on the block, the tightest abs, and so on. We must stay on our toes to makes sure somebody prettier, smarter, or whatever doesnt sneak up and snatch our man. It never ends.
And then, as were minding our own business on the supermarket check-out line, we glimpse a headline on a magazinecover: "Jessicas Hotter Than Ever! How Can Nick Leave Her Now?" The subtext is, if a fox like Jessica Simpson cant hold on to a man, what chance do the rest of us have?
Even if your tastes in literature run to feminist authors like Susan Faludi and Noami Wolf over, say, periodicals like In Touch and The Star, youre probably influenced by the negative messages were fed by the media. I know I was.
And the bad vibes dont only come from magazines and TV shows. Listen, for instance, to the lyrics in your favorite songs. So many of of my favorite female artists sing of being suicidal over the loss of a guy. A lot of my favorite male artists sing about hurting women, hating women, or running through them like pints of beer.
Its one thing to enjoy popular music, but be aware of the whacked-out ideas it can weld into your brain if youre not paying attention: 1) Youre nothing without a guy, and 2) Youre a disposable object that can be easily replaced.
The next time you leave the house know this: You are one of a kind and irreplaceable. There is only one you. You dont need a guy, but if youre going to have one, he must love you for you (not your body parts, your money, or your clothes). He must add value to your life.
Once you love yourself, really and truly love yourself (because of who you are inside, as opposed to the fact that you just forked over $450 to have your teeth whitened), you will attract better men.
Good men definitely exist. But they want to be with a woman who values and esteems herself. (Self-love trumps pretty every time!) Once you become that woman, you will magically find yourself enjoying a happy, angst-free relationship with a guy whos in it for the long term.
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for her free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com. Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.
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