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How to Have an Emotionally Intelligence Valentine's Day
 Category |
: Women |
 Times Read |
: 36 |
 Date |
: 25 June 2008 07:00 |
Every time Valentines Day comes along, I think of the day before Valentines Day a couple of years when, as I was leaving the card and gift shop where Id selected some Valentines, while cursing the materialism dictated to us by Madison Avenue that demanded the expression of feelings with store-bought cards and boxes of candy, mourned the fact that I had no honey at the time, thought of the cards I should and should not have received on past Valentines Days, worried if I was spending too much or too little, and wondered if my son would remember to let my grand-daughter pick out a card for me...... the shop owner called out, Be careful driving, Susan. There are a lot of angry lovers out there on the road today.Its coming again Valentines Day and with it a lot of emotions. Its also a day you can organize, if you sit down and think about it, using both your IQ and your EQ.INTENTIONALITYHow do you intend your Valentines Day to be? Intentionality means saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and it also means being responsible and accountable for your motives as well as your actions.If your intention is to express your love to someone in a meaningful way, this might include thinking about what means love to them. It could be a toaster oven would be greatly appreciated, a poem youve written, a kiss on the cheek, an addition to their collection, a power tool, something very gushy or not very gushy, a night of dancing, or not spending any money because youre both over budget.At the same time, how to you intend to manage your emotions? If you take an honest look at the situation, here are some intentions you might have:Do you plan to be upset over what happens? If youre single, do you intend to let it get to you? Do you intend to be disappointed in what your lover gives you, as nothing is good enough? Do you intend to keep your expectations in line with reality-testing? Do you intend to express your needs, as no one can read your mind, no matter how much they love you?Do you intend to spend more than you can afford to and then feel guilty?Do you intend to compare yourself, or the gift you receive to others?Do you intend to agree to choose your boss gift for his wife even though this causes negative emotions for you?Do you intend to let someone else do Valentines for you, or do you plan to be personally involved in your gift choices?Do you intend to be a perfectionist and feel that whatever you buy is wrong, and whatever you do isnt right? You could intend to love yourself and enjoy your day!Intentionality is tough stuff and it means business. ACCOUNTABILITYOn the more pragmatic level, there are things that need doing. If you intend to observe the day by remembering various peopleWrite out your budgetMake a list of people you wish to rememberStart writing down ideas for each personRemember theres a whole slew of merchants out there willing to make this easy for you use the Internet and the telephoneStart early to avoid pressurePlan ahead how you will resist all the last-minutes specials coming your way that you know you cant affordValentines Day falls on a Friday this week. Thats something you need to know. This means you can send last-minute floral arrangements, and it means that restaurants are going to be absolutely packed on that night, and that babysitters may be hard to come by. Plan accordingly!Planning is the key to experiencing the joy of Valentines Day. Its your day and you can have it your way!
About the Author
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers personal coaching, Internet courses and ebooks for your personal and professional development. Visit her at www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE Strengths course.
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